I don't think I ever told you how I made my final decision to stay in Texas.
I say "my" because my husband had made it very clear to me that he supported whatever I wanted to do. Wherever I chose, he would go.
As most of you know I am a strong person in my faith. As strong as I can be right now. I am still growing. In this specific situation, I prayed. I prayed hard and I told God that I needed a sign. I told him that that sign needed to be RIGHT in front of my face and that I would know it when I received it.
So, one evening I was reading to the kids before bed. I don't remember the name of the book. Some of you may recognize it a little. It was about a squirrel trying to find new home. He wandered around and he came upon a moose. As I was reading, the squirrel decided to "dwell inside of the longhorns of the moose".
I was stunned. "DWELL INSIDE OF THE LONGHORNS"?
Well. Ok then. Thank you God. That was definitely right in my face and I definitely knew it. See I had known inside of my heart what I wanted to do for our family. There were just so many nay sayers not understanding and feeling like I was selfish. I had some tell me to give my kids second best as long as they would be around all of their family. I couldn't accept giving my kids second best. Don't get me wrong. Family is VERY important to us and to me, but I knew where we belonged for us to grow like God intended us to.
We all have a purpose in our lives. Most of us grow up and still have no clue what that purpose is. I think it is awesome when you have young kids in middle school or high school or even starting out college and they know exactly what it is that they will be doing with their lives, and they pursue that! That is amazing.
But if you're like me, you're 23 and you have no idea what it is you're supposed to do in your life. I am 25 now, but 2 years ago, I was lost. I believed in God but my faith wasn't big enough. I prayed but it wasn't consistent and I figured if he really knew what we needed he would give it to us.
No. There are roadblocks in our lives put up by the Almighty One. He does this purposely He wants to test you, to grow you and to strengthen YOU. He wants to know if you are READY for the many blessings He is so ready to GIVE you.
This means though, that when ish hits the fan, you are remembering to turn to Him. You need to trust in Him more than you trust in yourself or anyone else. He promises you that he will be present in all of your life, He will see you through everything, and He will protect you through everything. Are you trusting in him enough? Are you turning to him in your moment of weakness? When you are angry, or feeling jealous of someone or something?
I know that when I am going through a hard time, my first thought right now isn't to pray at first. It is something I am definitely working on. I do notice that when I DO think to pray first and then I give Him all of my trust no matter WHAT, He answers. Is it always the answer I want? Of course not. But I trust Him. He has not led me wrong so far.
We are teaching our children to trust in God over anything. That when they are scared, or having a hard time with something, to pray to Him and for them to know that He is there with them. It is so precious to watch children as young as 2 and as old as 8 just talk to God and pray to him and read his book. They have conversations with each other, and some of the things they say, makes my heart just putty.
You cannot let fear stop you from pursuing the things that you want to pursue in your life. If you want to make something happen, no matter what it is, you will. No excuses. If you are sitting and wondering WHY God has given you THIS to pursue because it is so scary, you need to just trust in him. He can take you through all things.
Me, I know what I want to do. I am growing my business for so many reasons. One of them being sponsoring 20 families during Thanksgiving and Christmas time. I want to give to so many causes. I want to do some type of Hope center for pregnant teens. I want to help the sexual abuse awareness cause. I know that when I have the huge amounts of money in my bank account, that God will guide me to do exactly what it is that he has always intended for me to do even before I was born. That gives me goosebumps.
Whatever it is you are struggling with. If you are not sure if you are supposed to take one path or another, pray on it. Decide and then accept the course that God has given you. Make the commitment NOW. Ask yourself now, will I quit when it gets hard? The answer is no. Any doubt right now, give it up. Now that the commitment is made you must keep going no matter what. Lastly, align your attitude. Know that every obstacle that you are going to face, is intended for you to face. It is your test. Consider every emotion you may feel before you even start this journey. You will get dirty. You will be humiliated. You will cry. You will laugh. You will smile. Know that God will be with you the whole way.
XOXO
Jessi
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